So easily distracted!

Every evening that I give my adorable daughter a bath, I think to myself, I should take a nice relaxing bath myself. Well tonight I decided I had waited long enough for the sweet indulgence of a bubbly treat, so I prepared for my watery delight. The baby was fast asleep, the silly boy was in the cold garage engrossed in doing who-knows-what to his four wheeler, dinner was cleaned up (ok, so the sandwich wrappers were in the garbage, you gotta love drive thru’s!) and I was ready to relax!

As I was preparing for my mini spa experience, I removed the baby bathtub from the real tub. I noticed the baby tub needed wiping down (who knew that someone so small could leave ‘ring around the tub’!) So I am at the sink and the cat lets himself into the bathroom. He then calmly jumps into the tub and proceeds to relieve himself. I am staring right at him and he pees in my tub! What the….. Ok, so as I yell at him and chase him out of the bathroom he bombards me with meowing and attempts to claw down the bathroom door. This can only mean one thing…. Sure enough, his food bowl is empty. So, I honor his so subtle request and refill his bowl. Now, back to the bathroom to clean out the tub! As I rise out and disinfect the floor, I realize that the rest of the shower and tub could use to be cleaned as well. I finish with that task and figure as long as I’m at it I might as well go ahead and clean the rest of the bathroom. Now I have successfully cleaned the toilet, the sink, and shined the mirror.

It is FINALLY time to actually take my nice relaxing bubble bath. As I fill the tub my excitement grows! In just moments I will be lounging in warm peace. Just as the water reaches the desired level, my loving husband sticks his head in the bathroom. “Do we have a turkey baster?” Now, most normal people would probably inquire to WHY he would need this. I have learned it is just best not to ask! Although as I am rummaging through the kitchen drawer I do question weather I will be getting this back. His reply, “I don’t think you are going to want to use it for cooking when I get done with it!” I find the turkey baster and he disappears back into the garage. I don’t even want to know!

On my walk back to the bathroom, I pass the dryer and remember I need to fold the clothes before they become permanently wrinkled! Fold, fold, fold… always so much fun. It isn't until I am putting the clothes away that remember I was actually getting ready to relax!

Finally it is really truly time to enjoy my bath! I slip into the tub and begin my simple retreat. Of course, what I failed to realize until this moment was that quite a bit of time had passed since I had actually filled the bathtub. I was sitting in an ice cold vat of water! Ok, simple enough, drain the water and refill with WARM water. This won’t take too long, and I vow not to begin any new task that will distract me this time!

Bubbles now surround me in my little piece of paradise. I have just slipped into my tranquil escape when I a thunderous roar erupts. What is my husband up to?!? I jump out of the tub, wrap my robe around me and head out to find the source of this noise. Sure enough I look out the front window and what do I see? The boy is tearing up the front yard cutting donuts on his four wheeler! It must have been some sight to see, snow and mud flying everywhere and I am standing on the front porch in my robe hollering at him! Just in case you weren't aware, we live in town, in a neighborhood with houses all around us. Apparently my brilliant husband had forgotten that neighbors really don’t appreciate his loud beast of a machine firing up at all hours of the night. As I ever so calmly explain to him that he needs to put that thing back in the garage NOW, he just stares at me with that ‘you just killed my dog’ look but obliges and sulks as he returns the machine to its rightful place in the garage.

Luckily this stray from my relaxation plan didn't take much time and this time I checked the water temperature BEFORE immersing myself completely! The water is warm, the bubbles are high, relaxation time has come!

Oh you have got to be kidding me… the baby just woke up! Well I was too tired to relax now anyway! I guess the bath will just have to wait until another day.

Six month check up

This morning started like any other… running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get to the pediatrician’s office on time for our appointment!

We did manage to make it to our appointment in plenty of time, actually had a few minutes to spare. But of course, after about 30 seconds in the waiting room, my sweet daughter decided she was DONE sitting in her car seat. So after a very short time of trying to appease her without freeing her from her torturous restraint, I gave up and granted her freedom. As soon as she was up looking around the room, she was happy as could be...nosy little booger!

Her 6 month check up was pretty uneventful after our initial outburst. Of course, she didn't care much for her shots, but that is fully expected! The doc said she looked wonderful and was healthy as a horse. After another short winey outbreak due to her return to her car seat, we were on our way.

I had a few errands to run, so I figured I better get them out of the way because I suspected that one of us would get cranky before too long because of the shots. Our first stop, the post office, always a fun place to visit. So after fighting my way through the parking lot and somehow balancing carrying a baby, the diaper bag and the package I am trying to mail, I navigate my way into the Post office. There is a line, of course, so now I get to entertain my daughter while I continue to try to balance my hefty load. Finally it is my turn. I sling my package up onto the counter and I reach into the diaper bag to withdraw my wallet so I can complete the transaction and get the now very fussy baby out of the very busy establishment. One problem, my wallet is no where to be found. Now not only do I have a infant who is throwing a fit, a package that is still not on its way to its destination but also feeling extremely embarrassed as I try to collect all my worldly goods to pack back into the diaper bag. I am just about all put back together ready to quickly leave and I just about jump out of my skin when my cell phone in my back pocket starts ringing. The call will just have to wait! I get back to my vehicle, strap in the car seat and return the package to the trunk where it will just have to wait for another day. I begin my drive home, simultaneously trying to appease the screaming child in the back seat, attempting to think clearly enough to figure out where my wallet could be, and listen to the voicemail message left on my cell phone. The pediatrician’s office was responsible for the voicemail message, and the mystery of my missing wallet was solved. Apparently I had absent mindedly left my wallet behind on the counter at the doctor’s office while I was checking out.

Next stop, returning to the pediatrician’s office. At least my baby was now content riding in the backseat of the car. So after a short drive back to the office, I pack my wonderful daughter BACK in to retrieve my precious wallet. By this time it is afternoon, and although I now have the means to complete the remainder of my errands (and go back and try again to mail my package), I decide that returning home would be the best option.

Aaaahhhh, back home again, but the peace doesn’t last long. My darling daughter reminds me that it is time for her to eat again. Bottle, burp cloth, and baby in tow, I retreat to the couch to sit and relax while she enjoys her feeding. After slurping down her scrumptious meal and giving an ever so lady-like belch, my daughter smiles at me and proceeds to spit-up right down the front of me. Well I guess I should be grateful, it was early afternoon before I was no longer wearing clean clothes! She did manage to dribble down the front of her clothes too, so it was time for a change of clothes for her. After a short session of playing and singing while lying on the changing table, she was clean, dry, and showing signs of being VERY sleepy. A nap sounds wonderful at this moment! I scoop up my drowsy daughter, cuddle her, and plan to rock her gently off to sleep. Apparently my baby had a different plan in mind, and it did NOT including rocking. Ok, no problem, we will just walk a bit around the house and sweet sleep will come.

One hour later…still walking, and not showing any signs that sleep is eminent. Although she is very happy to be awake walking around the house, my arm is not so happy. Time to break out the baby carrier. (We did try several options besides walking, but none of these were acceptable to the princess!) After a bit of interesting gymnastic maneuvers, I now had my baby strapped to my chest to continue my stroll around the house. Lap after lap around the house I was sure she would drift off to sleep at any moment. On one trip through the kitchen it occurred to me that my hunger was growing stronger every trip through. One of us did not appreciate stops on our walk, so I found myself grabbing a handful of mini-marshmallows from the open bag on the counter to munch on while we continued to walk around, and around, and around, and around, and around. Mmmmm, the nutritious meal of marshmallows, now that is fine dining!

Finally her little eyelids are very heavy. Not to mention her little body has become very heavy too! Although having the baby carrier was very helpful, my shoulders and back are aching from our several hour little stroll. She finally succumbs to the sandman. A sleeping baby is VERY welcome sight! Now, the task of removing her from the carrier and placing her in her crib without waking her. I am sure that moves I came up with to keep her asleep while untangling her from the carrier now qualifies me as a professional circus performer! As I peer down at my sleeping angel, my whole body is extremely grateful for this much needed break.

I am sure by this time you can guess what happens next. After about a 45 minute nap, the sweet sleeping baby disappeared. Out of no where the screaming infant returned. Since we had walked for so long, and taken a short nap, it was again time to feed the ravenous beast! She slowly savors every drop of her gourmet dinner in a bottle. Luckily in the middle of her meal, Daddy has returned home from his long day of work. After polishing off her dinner and releasing a bit of excess air without leaving any presents on my shirt this time, she quietly enjoys a few minutes relaxing on the couch. The calm doesn’t last long. We decide on a change of scenery and move our operation to the front porch.

Our inquisitive baby is intrigued for a short period of time by the trees, but then requires a different form of entertainment. I am sure our neighbors and any passersby thought we had completely lost our minds, but somehow two grown adults making funny faces and even funnier sounds kept the grumpy baby girl giggling instead of groaning!

After our amusing session on the porch, we retire to the kitchen to try to calm Mommy and Daddy’s grumbling tummies while still entertaining our daughter. We resort to the ever so popular handoff method to try to accomplish making dinner. On the menu tonight, the very elegant barbeque chicken and lima beans. Even this seemly simple dinner turns into a monumental task. The first problem, our outdoor grill has gobbled up all of the propane so there is no gas left to cook tonight’s chicken. No big deal, we will use our handy dandy George Forman grill, just plug it in and it is ready in minutes. The next problem arises, where IS the Forman grill? I am sure I put it back on the lower shelf in the pantry, but it has disappeared. Ok, I’ll just get out the skillet and cook it that way. As I turn on the stove to heat up the pan, our lovely cranky baby is handed back off to me. Daddy is sure the Forman grill is in the pantry and sure enough he pulls it down from the top shelf. So, I turn off the burner and return to the Forman plan. Hand off, baby back to daddy. As I plug in the grill and lift the lid there comes a loud clunking noise and I see a couple screws now lying on the counter next to the grill. Apparently those screws held the top plate of the grill on and they are a pretty crucial component of the Forman! Our baby is handed back to me and Daddy analyzes the situation…yup, it’s broken. Back to the skillet plan. The chicken is now cooking, the lima beans are being steamed in the microwave and our daughter is screaming at the top of her little lungs.

She now feels that it is necessary for both parents to give her their undivided attention. She is back to grinning and giggling when I realize our scrumptious dinner has turned into hard clumps of charcoal burning on the stovetop. I remove the smoking disaster from the heat and resign to preparing our precious daughter’s bedtime bottle. Daddy lovingly feeds his precious daughter while I return to the blacken chicken to see if I can somehow manage to save dinner. Mommy’s assessment of the situation….total loss! 

After feeding, it is time for a diaper change and change into pajamas. Now after 6 months you would think that we would have this diaper thing down pat. It turns out that our daughter’s new found love of wiggling around on the changing table brings a new twist to the simple change. Daddy has very kindly taken the task of changing her stinky diaper, but gets a very unwelcome surprise when he gets her all clean and she decides she wasn’t quite done making him presents! He was so busy trying to get the stinky diaper thrown away and keep her from rolling off the changing table that he somehow failed to notice that she had deposited another present and was now wiggling around in it! Operation clean baby commences…again. Finally clean, diapered, and warm and cozy in her pj’s, our daughter is ready for bed. But of course, we have to have one final round of fussing before it would be sleepy time.

Finally. our pissed off little firecracker has given up her fight and has resigned to sleep for the night. It is now 10pm, dinner is burned beyond being eatable, my package never got mailed, dishes are stacked up in the sink, my shoulders, back and feet are screaming in pain, the pile of laundry that was slated to be washed during afternoon nap time is still in a heap on the floor, toys are strewn across the house from all of our efforts to appease our daughter and we are enjoying our meal of peanut butter sandwiches and cold lima beans. Could life get any better than this??

Where did this screaming baby come from!

After a nice long afternoon nap, a bottle and happy playtime, one of us suddenly becomes  inconsolably fussy. Of course, this bout of screaming comes on right around 6pm, just moments before our gourmet dinner arrives. Ok, so maybe it was just pizza for dinner, but some nights that is a pretty fancy meal!

So the "baby dance" begins. One of us holds our beautiful wailing daughter and strategically paces around the house while the other attempts to shovel pizza into their mouth. Switch. Switch again. Switch yet again. And again, and again and again....

Finally, a hush falls over the house. Is she sleeping? Could it be? She is quiet. Ok, take a few more laps, just for good measure. It is confirmed, she appears to have finally drifted off to sleep.
Now the fun begins. Can we successfully transfer the baby who seems to be asleep from our arms into the magical baby swing? Slowly, carefully we place her in the incredible motion machine. Quick, get the swing moving before she wakes up! She starts to stir. Oh no, have we just undone the last several hours of calming in the single moment it took to place her in the swing?!? Back and forth she goes... and yes she stays happy and asleep! Success!

Only a few moments have passed with her enjoying the soothing motions of the swing when things suddenly begin to unravel. Why is the swing slowing down? Quick, turn it back on before she notices her blissful rest is disturbed! Why won't it stay on, what is wrong with this stupid swing?!? The batteries! Of all the times to fail us, why now?? NOOOOO!!!

I am off in the frantic search around the house for replacement batteries. Daddy's duty is now to try to manually duplicate the exact speed she has been swinging at long enough for me to gather the batteries. Ok, don't panic, he keeps her moving and still sound asleep. Luckily I remember that I have a stash of back up batteries. But what size does the swing need? Now Daddy has to keep the peaceful baby manually swinging while he attempts to pry open the childproof battery compartment so I know which batteries we need. Size D. No problem, i have a whole unopened package of D batteries. Now all we have to do is open the package, change the batteries and our sweet baby girl will remain in her quiet state of bliss.

Who designed this hellish packaging? After contemplating reaching for a nice sharp kitchen knife to pierce the armor surrounding the batteries, I quickly reconsider. We surely don't need an emergency room visit to sew up a bleeding extremity on top of everything else! Instead I head for the junk drawer to dig for a much safer utensil. Where are the bloody scissors? I know I keep them in this drawer. If only I would have organized this mess before this moment! Oh that’s right, I just used the scissors this evening, they are still sitting in the middle of the counter. Finally the strong as steel, plastic battery packaging has been obliterated. The golden energy packed into a small round cylinder has been released!

The batteries are inserted and sweet power has been restored! Mission accomplished! Our sleeping baby girl reminds silent and content. Whew! Now to sit down and finish our gourmet dinner, it is not exactly warm anymore, but it is food none the less.

Uh oh, someone just opened her eyes.......

Day 47

Secretly in the night, some evil being came into our serene nursery and stole my peaceful, easy going newborn and replaced her with a screaming hellion! Nothing would appease this cantankerous baby. We tried everything… rocking, walking, bouncing, eating. I just couldn't fathom what had come over my child. She was the perfect baby, always happy, loving and cuddly. There must have been some mistake; this inconsolable infant could not possibly belong to me!

Finally I had an idea. Maybe a nice warm bath would sooth her! Warm dry towels in position…check. Baby wash by the tub….check. Soft washcloth ready…check. Bathwater at ideal warm temperature…check. Recheck the water temperature to assure it is not too hot or too cold…check. The cranky infant is now naked ready to enter the calming waters. The magical water has finally brought relief to my aching ears! Although she is not actively crying anymore, I wouldn't exactly describe her mood as happy. But I will take whatever I can get at this point! She enjoys soaking in the warm water as I gently clean all of her little parts. We even play a short game of peek-a-boo with the wash cloth. Slowly my angel seems to be returning.

Apparently, I got my hopes up a bit too high. Suddenly she decides that she is DONE with bath time. Over, done, kaput….no more bath! No problem, she is probably just a bit chilly. I have nice big, warm, fluffy towels ready to swaddle her in. As I surround her in the heavenly bliss of the cotton blanket, she snuggles down against my chest. We tenderly rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Finally, she drifts off to sleep. She looks so sweet and innocent wrapped so snugly in the towel in my arms.

Suddenly that sickening feeling rushes upon me, all the way down to the pit of my stomach. How could I have been so stupid?!? I realize in my haste to calm the cranky baby, I forgot one of the most important pieces of caring for any infant…the diaper! How could I have done this?!? She is finally asleep in my arms, but only wrapped in a towel!

The wheels in my head start turning. I seriously contemplate the situation I have gotten myself into. As I continue to rock my sleeping child I weigh my options in my mind. Is I really worth waking her up simply to put on a diaper? She has been so upset all morning that I just can’t imagine disrupting her peaceful slumber. This towel is pretty thick and absorbent… how big of a mess could she possibly make? Well after a short twenty minute nap, I found out the answer to that exact question. Just in case you couldn't figure it out…the outcome basically reversed every bit of that bath she took. I think I have scientifically proven that the output of a infant exponentially expands based on how unprepared you are for it!

Although we had a major clean up on our hands, not to mention the major mommy cleanup needed as well, somehow her mood had been transformed. We now had a happy baby, and a mom who learned a very valuable lesson: Whatever you do, put the diaper on first!

Me becomes we, then a family of THREE!

Welcome Baby Becca!

March 21, 2007

Hendricks Regional Hospital

Me becomes WE

The start of Happily Ever After!

May 8, 2004

Saint Agnes Church

Nashville, Indiana