Where did this screaming baby come from!

After a nice long afternoon nap, a bottle and happy playtime, one of us suddenly becomes  inconsolably fussy. Of course, this bout of screaming comes on right around 6pm, just moments before our gourmet dinner arrives. Ok, so maybe it was just pizza for dinner, but some nights that is a pretty fancy meal!

So the "baby dance" begins. One of us holds our beautiful wailing daughter and strategically paces around the house while the other attempts to shovel pizza into their mouth. Switch. Switch again. Switch yet again. And again, and again and again....

Finally, a hush falls over the house. Is she sleeping? Could it be? She is quiet. Ok, take a few more laps, just for good measure. It is confirmed, she appears to have finally drifted off to sleep.
Now the fun begins. Can we successfully transfer the baby who seems to be asleep from our arms into the magical baby swing? Slowly, carefully we place her in the incredible motion machine. Quick, get the swing moving before she wakes up! She starts to stir. Oh no, have we just undone the last several hours of calming in the single moment it took to place her in the swing?!? Back and forth she goes... and yes she stays happy and asleep! Success!

Only a few moments have passed with her enjoying the soothing motions of the swing when things suddenly begin to unravel. Why is the swing slowing down? Quick, turn it back on before she notices her blissful rest is disturbed! Why won't it stay on, what is wrong with this stupid swing?!? The batteries! Of all the times to fail us, why now?? NOOOOO!!!

I am off in the frantic search around the house for replacement batteries. Daddy's duty is now to try to manually duplicate the exact speed she has been swinging at long enough for me to gather the batteries. Ok, don't panic, he keeps her moving and still sound asleep. Luckily I remember that I have a stash of back up batteries. But what size does the swing need? Now Daddy has to keep the peaceful baby manually swinging while he attempts to pry open the childproof battery compartment so I know which batteries we need. Size D. No problem, i have a whole unopened package of D batteries. Now all we have to do is open the package, change the batteries and our sweet baby girl will remain in her quiet state of bliss.

Who designed this hellish packaging? After contemplating reaching for a nice sharp kitchen knife to pierce the armor surrounding the batteries, I quickly reconsider. We surely don't need an emergency room visit to sew up a bleeding extremity on top of everything else! Instead I head for the junk drawer to dig for a much safer utensil. Where are the bloody scissors? I know I keep them in this drawer. If only I would have organized this mess before this moment! Oh that’s right, I just used the scissors this evening, they are still sitting in the middle of the counter. Finally the strong as steel, plastic battery packaging has been obliterated. The golden energy packed into a small round cylinder has been released!

The batteries are inserted and sweet power has been restored! Mission accomplished! Our sleeping baby girl reminds silent and content. Whew! Now to sit down and finish our gourmet dinner, it is not exactly warm anymore, but it is food none the less.

Uh oh, someone just opened her eyes.......

Day 47

Secretly in the night, some evil being came into our serene nursery and stole my peaceful, easy going newborn and replaced her with a screaming hellion! Nothing would appease this cantankerous baby. We tried everything… rocking, walking, bouncing, eating. I just couldn't fathom what had come over my child. She was the perfect baby, always happy, loving and cuddly. There must have been some mistake; this inconsolable infant could not possibly belong to me!

Finally I had an idea. Maybe a nice warm bath would sooth her! Warm dry towels in position…check. Baby wash by the tub….check. Soft washcloth ready…check. Bathwater at ideal warm temperature…check. Recheck the water temperature to assure it is not too hot or too cold…check. The cranky infant is now naked ready to enter the calming waters. The magical water has finally brought relief to my aching ears! Although she is not actively crying anymore, I wouldn't exactly describe her mood as happy. But I will take whatever I can get at this point! She enjoys soaking in the warm water as I gently clean all of her little parts. We even play a short game of peek-a-boo with the wash cloth. Slowly my angel seems to be returning.

Apparently, I got my hopes up a bit too high. Suddenly she decides that she is DONE with bath time. Over, done, kaput….no more bath! No problem, she is probably just a bit chilly. I have nice big, warm, fluffy towels ready to swaddle her in. As I surround her in the heavenly bliss of the cotton blanket, she snuggles down against my chest. We tenderly rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Finally, she drifts off to sleep. She looks so sweet and innocent wrapped so snugly in the towel in my arms.

Suddenly that sickening feeling rushes upon me, all the way down to the pit of my stomach. How could I have been so stupid?!? I realize in my haste to calm the cranky baby, I forgot one of the most important pieces of caring for any infant…the diaper! How could I have done this?!? She is finally asleep in my arms, but only wrapped in a towel!

The wheels in my head start turning. I seriously contemplate the situation I have gotten myself into. As I continue to rock my sleeping child I weigh my options in my mind. Is I really worth waking her up simply to put on a diaper? She has been so upset all morning that I just can’t imagine disrupting her peaceful slumber. This towel is pretty thick and absorbent… how big of a mess could she possibly make? Well after a short twenty minute nap, I found out the answer to that exact question. Just in case you couldn't figure it out…the outcome basically reversed every bit of that bath she took. I think I have scientifically proven that the output of a infant exponentially expands based on how unprepared you are for it!

Although we had a major clean up on our hands, not to mention the major mommy cleanup needed as well, somehow her mood had been transformed. We now had a happy baby, and a mom who learned a very valuable lesson: Whatever you do, put the diaper on first!

Me becomes we, then a family of THREE!

Welcome Baby Becca!

March 21, 2007

Hendricks Regional Hospital

Me becomes WE

The start of Happily Ever After!

May 8, 2004

Saint Agnes Church

Nashville, Indiana